This is a really, really important question—and there’s no one answer. Each of us has a different sexuality, and we lead different lives.  At the end of the day, it’s your body—and you have the right to make decisions that work for you.

Making decisions is always tricky—whether we’re picking a college, quitting a sport, experimenting with substances, or deciding on a career path. At heart, making good decisions is about knowing what will enhance your well-being.  What is important to you? What makes you happy? What support do you have? What information do you need? What risks are you willing to take?  What experiences tend to impact you negatively? These questions can help guide you in decisions of all kinds, but they’re especially important in sexuality.

From watching people around you, you probably know that what’s good for one person isn’t necessarily what’s best for another. Sex is a lot like food: someone else may be able to give you helpful information or share an experience, but in the end, it’s up to you to choose the right kind and amount for your body.

What does this all mean? Simply put, some people find that sex outside love contributes to their well-being. Other people don’t.

There are many places we can turn for guidelines. Some people practice a religion that tells them when it’s okay to have sex. Other people may have ongoing discussions with their parents (or other trusted adults) to explore their readiness for different types of sexual activity.  If you’re not sure who to talk to, consider making an appointment at Teen Clinic. Our practitioners can help you explore what you’re okay with and what you’re not.

At Teen Clinic, we think the most important thing is consent. If you’re thinking about being sexually active, make sure you feel safe and healthy in the relationship. Know that you have the right to change your mind at any moment. And if you’re sexually active, be sure to prevent unplanned pregnancy and STIs by using condoms and choosing a reliable birth control method.  These are an important part of well-being, too.

…Any harm in going on forever? I do plan to have a sexual life when mature.

It’s healthy to spend time discovering your own sexual boundaries and interests.  Thanks for asking this great question!

Masturbation can be a safe way to explore your body and learn more about your sexual likes and dislikes.  Masturbation doesn’t come with a risk of STI transmission or pregnancy, and it doesn’t require the same communication skills as being sexually active with someone else. Masturbation also won’t damage or harm your body in any way.

However, the most important part of your sexuality is you! If you feel uncomfortable masturbating during this point in your life, abstaining is a healthy solution. Choosing not to masturbate won’t damage your body either!

Consider talking to a trusted adult about your situation if you need a little extra support. If you’re not sure who to turn to, Teen Clinic can be a great, confidential place to talk about sexual decision making with a medical professional.

May is almost over, and now is a great time to call or come in to Teen Clinic to talk about your contraceptive options and make sure you’re staying safe for the

STIs are transmitted four ways: through blood exchange, fluid exchange, skin to skin contact, and from mother to child (during breastfeeding or vaginal birth).  Unless you have recently had genital contact or fluid exchange with someone who is infected, it’s unlikely you have an STI.

However, some females experience natural infections that are unrelated to sexual activity.  Yeast infections and bacterial vaginitis (BV) often share the same symptoms as bacterial STIs: itching, burning, unusual discharge, and/or change in genital odor.  They are curable, common, and affect women of all ages.  While males can acquire bacterial and yeast infections, it is less common. Males often expel bacteria or yeast during ejaculation or urination.

Whether you’re male, female, or intersex, see a medical professional and get treated if you are experiencing discomfort of any type.  You can make an appointment for the next Teen Clinic by calling 303-442-5160.

The common definition of sexual abstinence is to refrain from sexual activity with another person. Many people abstain to prevent the transmission of infections and unexpected pregnancy. There is no risk of STI transmission or pregnancy with self-masturbation, since there is only one person involved. So, masturbating and releasing sexual fluids (semen or vaginal fluids) would not be breaking a commitment to abstinence if the definition involved another person. Self-masturbation can be a great way to stay abstinent and still explore your sexuality.

Many people have very different definitions of sexual abstinence. There is no universal definition. You might want to think about how you define abstinence. Think about your sexual boundaries, your expectations for a relationship and consider your future plans. All of these factors (and many more!) can influence how you choose to practice abstinence. If and when you find yourself in a romantic relationship (you may already be in one), talk to your partner about your definition of abstinence. In fact, talk about your definition of sex and what that word means to you. It will help promote healthy communication and establish sexual boundaries.

The FY 2010 Omnibus Spending Bill passed by Congress last week and signed by President Obama on Dec. 16, eliminates $95M for abstinence-only-until-marriage programs and replaces it with $114M for evidence-based, scientifically accurate comprehensive sexuality education programs.  This is a major win for those who believe in providing young people with the accurate, honest sexual health information they need to help them stay healthy and avoid unwanted pregnancy and disease.

Additionally, the bill creates the first-ever Office of Adolescent Health (OAH) in the Department of Health and Human Services.  According to James Wagoner of Advocates for Youth, “This is a major step forward in ensuring that the sexual and reproductive health of young people will be monitored by public health professionals rather than ideologues as in the past.” To read Wagoner’s complete report on the issue, click here.

If you are choosing not to be sexually active with a partner, but still feel sexual, self-masturbation is healthy way to help you keep your commitment to wait. Self-masturbation is something that should be done in private and is a way to better understand your body. your sexuality, your likes, dislikes and boundaries should you ever decide to be sexually active with a partner.