…She did use a condom.
Your granddaughter is lucky to have someone she can talk to! Thanks for writing in on her behalf.
Although light bleeding can occur after a person’s first vaginal intercourse, bleeding that continues should be evaluated by a medical professional. Vaginal bleeding is often a sign of infection, whether a sexually transmitted infection or an organic infection, like yeast or bacterial vaginitis. If she doesn’t already have a gynecologist, consider helping her get to Teen Clinic for a check-up. We offer low-cost and confidential services.
Make sure your granddaughter knows that sex shouldn’t be painful. The tissue in the vaginal canal is very fragile, and can tear if a person isn’t lubricated enough during intercourse. Choosing a water-based lubricant to use with condoms is a great idea. It’s also important to make sure she is aroused enough for vaginal intercourse. During arousal, blood fills the vaginal tissues, allowing them to expand and lengthen. The body may also self-lubricate, reducing friction further. If a person experiences pain during intercourse, it’s often a red flag to stop or slow down.
For a more in-depth guide to preventing pain during sex, check out this question. To make an appointment at Teen Clinic, take a peek at our contact information. Thanks again for being a safe place your granddaughter can go!
“Queef” is a slang term for vaginal flatulence, which occurs when air gets into the body during arousal, penetration, or even exercise. As the air leaves the body, it can make an embarrassing sound. However, this is a normal experience common to anyone with a vagina!
During sex, the vaginal canal lengthens and the uterus moves. This can create extra space for air to collect. Often, people experience vaginal flatulence when the walls of the canal return to their unaroused state. However, it is also possible to experience flatulence from particular exercise positions, as in yoga.
If you have additional questions about vaginal flatulence, consider visiting Teen Clinic to speak with a nurse. You can make an appointment here.
…My boyfriend and I tried having sex. He put it in but I pushed him away after a few minutes. I didn’t feel it all the way in. It didn’t hurt me or give me any pleasure. I bled a little but my period had just stopped that day. Am I still a virgin?
Tough question! Virginity is hard to talk about—in part, because it’s so hard to define. Some people define “virginity loss” as having penile-vaginal intercourse for the first time; others include oral or anal sex in this definition, too. Those in same-sex relationships may be sexually active in other ways; what about them? At the end of the day, you’re the only one who can define when you are or aren’t a virgin, and how you feel about it.
At Teen Clinic, we try to talk about specific behaviors rather than concepts like virginity. From the situation you described, it sounds like you had penile-vaginal intercourse. This means it’s time to start a birth control method and make sure you’re preventing STIs. Even if a male doesn’t ejaculate inside the vagina, pre-ejaculate may be present, so use a condom every time for the entire activity to prevent unintended pregnancies and infection.
If you’re not sure how you feel about your first experience, consider talking to a trusted adult. You’re welcome to make an appointment at Teen Clinic if you’re not sure where to go. And keep in mind that not everyone’s first experience is pleasurable; sometimes it takes a little while for partners to discover what each likes and dislikes. The most important thing is to make sure you’re feeling safe and comfortable. Just because you’ve had vaginal intercourse once doesn’t mean you have to again, or that you have to on any given day, or that you have to with this partner. It’s your health. Communicate with your partner how you’re feeling, and don’t feel pressured into anything you’re not ready for. If you do feel ready for intercourse, be sure to take the steps that will keep you safe and healthy.
To learn more about preparing for vaginal intercourse, check out this question.
There’s only one person who can tell if you’re ready to have sex: you! If you’re considering becoming sexually active, spend some time thinking about why sexual activity is right for you. Make sure you’re not feeling pressured by friends or a partner. Be confident that sex isn’t linked to your self-esteem, and definitely don’t have sex just to “get it over with.” If you need some guidance, consider talking to a trusted adult or a practitioner at Teen Clinic.
Medically, there’s no reason having intercourse before your first menstruation would harm your body. However, it’s important to realize that pregnancy is a risk even if you haven’t gotten your period. Choose a reliable birth control method, and use condoms to prevent sexually transmitted infections. If you’re concerned about your menstruation, make an appointment to talk to a Teen Clinic practitioner. The age when females begin menstruating can vary widely; visiting the clinic can help make sure you’re healthy.
Check out these other questions about having intercourse for the first time.
Pain during intercourse is often a sign of infection. Bacterial vaginosis, overgrowth of yeast, and sexually transmitted infections can all irritate the tissues of the vaginal canal, causing burning or discomfort during sex. In some cases, these tissues may bleed after intercourse. See a healthcare provider soon to make sure you’re healthy. Remember, all services at Teen Clinic are free!
The vaginal canal can also become sore after poorly lubricated sexual activity. Keep plenty of water-based lubricant on hand, especially when you’re using a condom. Some females naturally self-lubricate quite a bit; others may not lubricate enough to avoid discomfort. Remember, reducing the friction during intercourse makes it less likely that vaginal tissues—and condoms!—will tear, lowering your risk for STIs. It’s important to use only water-based lubricants, since oil-based lubes can create holes in a condom. We keep free samples of lube in the waiting room at Teen Clinic; come grab some!
Lastly, make sure your partner knows when you’re experiencing pain during intercourse! Communicating with your partner is key to keeping sex safe and healthy. If you’re in pain—whether from a position, an infection, or poor lubrication—your partner should know that it’s time to stop.
Sexual activity is a normal part of human life. In the same way that people prefer different foods, clothing, and activities, people may also prefer different amounts of sex. Instead of asking if sex was good or bad, consider whether or not it was healthy. Did both people agree to the sex? Was there protection against sexually transmitted infections? Was a birth control method used correctly? Did the activity feel safe and fun for both people?
If the answer to all these questions is yes, it sounds like you’re making healthy sexual decisions! The amount and type of sex people choose can vary throughout their lives, so don’t worry too much! However, keep an eye on how your body feels. If you experience any pain or stress related to the sex, take a break; genitals can be sensitive to lots of activity. See a healthcare provider if you experience bleeding after intercourse, itching, burning, or abnormal discharge.
Great question! Flavored condoms are just regular latex condoms with a flavored coating. If you’ve ever had a dentist’s glove in your mouth, you know latex doesn’t taste very good; flavored condoms help make protected oral intercourse more enjoyable for the giver, just as you suggested! The coating flavors range from strawberry to chocolate to cola, and are all safe for human consumption. And don’t worry—these condoms will reduce the risk of STIs as effectively as plain condoms!
Avoid using flavored condoms for vaginal intercourse, however. The artificial flavoring can contain sugars and other chemicals that may cause vaginal infection. To reduce the risk of STI transmission and pregnancy during vaginal intercourse, just use a plain condom! And don’t forget to switch condoms between sexual activities.
First, keep in mind that not everyone defines “sex” the same way. To some people, “sex” refers only to vaginal intercourse. To others, it includes oral and anal intercourse. To others still, “sex” includes mutual masturbation and sex toy play. For your first sexual experience, focus on exploring each others’ bodies in a way that feels comfortable to both of you, and don’t worry too much about what you’re “supposed” to do.
It’s always possible for vaginal intercourse to be uncomfortable, whether for the first time or the millionth. Here are some tips that can help keep intercourse pleasurable and safe.
- Make sure both partners are fully aroused before beginning intercourse. Engaging in foreplay—kissing, oral sex, or mutual masturbation, for instance—stimulates blood flow to the genitals, which allows the tissue in the vaginal canal to stretch. A female’s cervix actually lifts toward the uterus during arousal, elongating the canal by several inches. Also, most vaginas self-lubricate when aroused, making it easier to accommodate a penis.
- Some women have a thin membrane, called a hymen, blocking the entrance to their vaginas. Hymens can be broken by fingers, tampons, penises, or other things inserted into the vagina. Not all females are born with a hymen, however, and some are broken in childhood by everyday activities like sports. If you are engaging in vaginal intercourse for the first time, it is possible to feel a brief pain as the hymen breaks. A small amount of blood may be present. Know that this is normal and involves no lasting damage!
- Use lubrication. Some bodies self-lubricate quite a bit; some don’t at all! Lubrication will lower the amount of friction during intercourse, allowing the penis to slide in and out without catching on the vaginal tissue. Even if your body does self-lubricate, it’s great to have a bottle of water-based lube on hand just in case things become dry and uncomfortable. (Lubrication is especially important when having intercourse with a condom, since the latex can create extra friction in the vagina.)
- Stay positive. You may be nervous about whether or not vaginal intercourse will hurt. There’s nothing wrong with this, but remember that the vagina is a muscle. If you’re tense, it might be, too! Sometimes people who are stressed out will feel pelvic pain during intercourse instead of pleasure. This is a good signal to take a step back. Check in emotionally with your partner, return to foreplay, or listen to what your body needs instead of sex. If you find that sex of any kind makes you anxious, talk to a trusted adult about your concerns. Share dinner and conversation with your partner. Pamper yourself with a long bath. Remember that relationships can be meaningful and intimate without sexual activity, and try intercourse again when you’re feeling confident and aroused.
Some vaginal or penile pain during intercourse is a cause for concern. If you’ve been experiencing pain during intercourse consistently for several months, it may be time to seek out a healthcare professional. Make an appointment with your doctor or come see a nurse at Teen Clinic. It’s free and confidential!
